April 23, 2016

This is 27.

By In lightly lyrical, musings, quotations, yoga

I share a birthday with:
Shirley Temple,
Karl Marx,

the birth and death of Shakespeare,
and all Earth Day hangovers.

I have Shirley Temple curls,
philosophize to a fault,

might be mildly socialist,
am writing poetry,
and work in sustainability.

Astrology’s no joke.

Lessons from 26:

Some shore birds chirp through the night,
keeping seaside communities  company.
And that alone
should be enough motivation
to pick up my dog’s defecation.
And sometimes it’s not.

Going to Cuba with no money
is a phenomenal diet
at the very least;

and if nothing else
care should be taken in deciding
whose phone numbers to memorize.
They’re not so easy to forget. 

I have more fear of a Brazilian
than public speaking.
This is one small triumph for public speaking.    

Massage is a healthy route
to skin to skin contact

if you’re craving it,
or need it,
as most mammals do.

Self help books are helpful
but, 
entirely too embarrassing
to read on public transit.

Rocks in my purse
make me feel safer
in the presence of coyotes,
and geese,
than my pitbull;
the one I feel safe leaving tied up
on the right side of the tracks
but not the wrong
because he has a particular appeal
to homeless people.

I wear sadness comfortably,
and anger doesn’t suit me well.
Regardless,
what I really want to know
is which is the underwear.

The parts of your brain that learn,
and conduct,
choreography atrophy. 
       – motor cortex, basal ganglia, cerebellum –
But, this is not our destiny
thanks to neuroplasticity.

And, if things are spinning mentally,
it doesn’t hurt to do so physically,
to change our perspective
or disrupt our projection.
Because, just knowing
I’m not seeing the world as it is,
or things as they are,
does not immediately change how I see them.

You can think things into being.
Especially losing your keys
and, seemingly, cracks in your windshield.
Coincidence maybe, 
but doesn’t what we notice
become what we know?
Jury’s still out 
on whether or not
knocking on wood is preventative
but, overall, this seems positive
because the belief that
           we’re enough and we’re worthy
can only be thought into being. 

And, assuredly it’s possible
given the success

of proving to ourselves the opposite. 
Primarily, with shame,
the subtle self-mutilation
that reminds us we’re sentient.
Ever available because,
empathy can be your superpower
and self-judgement still your kryptonite
as, empathy as a practice
doesn’t always extend easily
to those we know best;

“All you see is all my feats
All I see is all my flaws
All I hear is all my demons
Even through your applause

All you see is all my flights
Well, all I see is all my falls
All you see is all my rights
All I see is all my wrongs”1

And, a reversal requires reconditioning.
But, it’s therapy,
it’s cognitive,
and we could just do it.
But, there’s something terrifying
about what it might mean
for my life
if I truly loved the subject of it.

But,
love and abuse
don’t ever work together.
– thanks bell hooks –
And, pets are not an opportunity to see if they can.
And, neither are you or I.

You cannot reason your way
through heartbreak.
Or around it.
Or to love.
But love as:
“the will to extend one’s self
for the purpose of nurturing
one’s own or another’s spiritual growth,”
2
might be a fair start and,
it still might be fucking fickle.

If you live somewhere long enough,
you can learn to love it,
in all forms of weather.*
*I live in San Francisco.
But, partly because
seeing people “enjoy” the Golden Gate Bridge
in wind, fog, or pouring rain
and enjoying the Golden Gate Bridge
in wind, fog, and pouring rain
can bring me more joy than a sunny day.

Janitorial work is also always
work 
on humility and civility.
And men* may still hit on you
while you’re hand-picking compost off the sidewalk.
*Swiss men,
after a few drinks,
on their last night in San Francisco…
Still,
it’s fun to try and find the romance
in all of it it but,
particularly the fact that they didn’t help.

Still, it hasn’t hurt to believe we cross paths
with all the right people
at all the right times.
To believe
they’re all there to teach us something
about ourselves and themselves
and, we’re doing the same for them.

It’s a good direction of attention,
even when you cross paths with pubescent boys
that just ask you if you like Donald Trump –
“Nothing else?”
– then take out their smart phone
and take not-covert-enough photos
of just you on Municipal Transportation…
I’m still puzzling over that teaching,
there’s something there about D.Trump
for sure.
Albeit, maybe not fair.

But, if you don’t believe in free will
the serenity prayer provides more serenity.
[insert serenity prayer here]
As, not only will
“people will do whatever they are meant to do”
[insert “What We Are Meant To Do” – R.M. Drake here]
3
but, maybe more importantly,
so will you.

Expectations have a propensity
for running away
and not in the right direction.
And sometimes that fronts
as the best medicine.
And, I think,
we can choose
to let it be. 

There’s beauty in the long-game,
life is ideally a long game.
Better spent cultivating relationships
with those not playing
a long-game with/for/against you. 

The universe provides.
And, even if it doesn’t
because, kind of, how could it?
It can’t hurt to believe it,
unless you quit your day job
contingent upon it.

And always,
now, the teachings of yoga,
in the face of all:
feats,
flaws,
demons,
applause,
flights,
falls,
rights,
wrongs,
now the teachings of yoga. 
Atha Yoga Anushasanam – Yoga Sutra 1.1.

This is 27.

My 27.
The age my younger self 
couldn’t wait to be.
I should cherish it.

Post Script:
I  need to take a grammar class.
I’m over punctuating,
and over-thinking
my punctuation.
“I’m an artist
and I’m sensitive
about my shit.
Yes, I’m fragile.”4
Indeed.


1 Fiasco, Lupe  [feat. MDMA]. “Beautiful Lasers (2 Ways).”  Lasers. Atlantic Records. 2011.
2 hooks, bell. (2000). All about love: New visions. New York: William Morrow.
3 Drake, R. M. (2015). Beautiful chaos. Lulu Press.
4. Tech N9ne [feat. Kendrick Lamar, ¡
Mayday!, Kendall Morgan]. “Fragile.” Something Else. Strange Music Inc. 2013. 

 

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